Working*mom
Workin' Moms is a Canadian television sitcom that premiered on CBC Television on January 10, 2017.[1] The show stars Catherine Reitman, Jessalyn Wanlim, Dani Kind, Enuka Okuma, and Juno Rinaldi[2] as a group of friends dealing with the challenges of being working mothers.[3] The series is produced by Wolf + Rabbit Entertainment, the production company of Reitman and her husband, Philip Sternberg.[2]
working*mom
John Doyle of The Globe and Mail, wrote that the show "reeks of entitlement and privilege." Doyle further expressed sympathy for working mothers but not the show saying "The moms represent only a very specific, urban-bourgeois type. Their troubles are tiny, they live in luxury and their only contact with anything approaching the reality of contemporary life is via their nannies."[16]
The realities of the pandemic put undue pressure on working mothers, leading many to quit their jobs. Women accounted for 56% of resignations in 2020, despite only making up 48% of the total workforce.
I never thought I would be a working mom. I always assumed that I would stay home once I had kids, like my mom did with my brothers and me. Then I went to law school, became a lawyer, had James, and all that changed.
I work because I enjoy it. The work I do is interesting and challenging. I have a wonderful boss and a lot of flexibility, the hours are manageable, and the people are great. I like the adult interaction, critical thinking, and feeling like I am part of something. I've been working since I was 14, and my career is a part of who I am. I think I would have a hard time letting go of that part of me. OK, I'll admit it: I like the paycheck, too. I like being able to take vacations, go out to dinner, and give my kids opportunities that we wouldn't be able to give them if I didn't work. And after all, I have to finance my online shopping addiction, somehow!
I've thought about taking some time off and staying home while my kids are little. Unfortunately, that does not seem like a viable option. Everything I've read shows that women who leave their careers to raise their children almost always have a difficult time getting back into the working world. I don't know anyone in my field who has done it successfully. If I give up the job I have now, I don't think I'd be able to find anything like it after I took a few years off.
I also work because I think it makes me a better mom. It makes me feel like a more well-rounded person, and keeps me grounded and connected to the outside world. I don't think I'm cut out for staying at home full time. I think I would get bored, feel unfulfilled and miss the corporate world. I'm afraid I would feel lonely and isolated, which would lead me to be resentful and depressed. Not to mention that being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Actually, I often think being a stay-at-home mom is harder than being a working mom.
After a particularly exhausting weekend with James, going back to work feels like a break. Even though I'm working, I find little moments of time throughout the day to myself. Whether it's catching up with a friend on the phone during my commute or listening to whatever I want on the radio instead of Raffi nursery rhymes, working out at the company gym during my lunch hour, or reading the news online in between meetings, I savor these moments.
When I'm home, I have no time to myself. It's all kids, all the time. Maybe I'm selfish, but I need that time to decompress. I also think working helps me set a good example for my children, and shows them that they can do or be anything that they want.
Despite all that, being a working mom is extremely difficult. It's a constant juggling act, and not a day goes by that I don't question my choice. I feel guilty that I'm not with my kids all the time, that I'm not the one to comfort them every time they cry, that I'm not there for every first, that I'm not the one to teach them all the new things they are learning, and that they spend more waking hours each week at day care than at home.
I worry that their teachers know them better than me, and that they feel lonely and neglected when I'm not there. James is still too young to tell me how he feels about me working. But if he could, would he tell me that he misses me all day and wishes I would stay home with him? I wonder if I'm being selfish by working because I want to, and not because I have to. Will my working have a negative impact on my kids? Will they turn out OK even though they went to day care instead of being home with their mother?
Being a working mom is also mentally and physically challenging. My mind is constantly all over the place. When I'm at work, I'm worrying about my kids and what needs to be done at home, and when I'm at home, I'm worrying about what needs to be done at work. I'm never able to just focus on or enjoy what I'm doing at the moment. I check my BlackBerry compulsively and can't seem to give anything my undivided attention. I feel like I'm being pulled in a million different directions.
So we'll continue with the craziness that comes along with a two-parent working family. When I do go back to work, I've decided to reduce my hours (and my salary). I will work four days and have Fridays off. I hope the reduced schedule will help me find the balance I'm looking for, give me more time at home with my family, but also allow me to hold onto my career. I tell myself nothing is set in stone. If it doesn't work, we can always make a change.
Working on letting go of this guilt should be at the top of your long to-do list. It eats away at you, disrupts your sleep, affects your mood, and gets in the way of being present. My experience counseling working mothers has shown me that, while they do still feel stressors, they also experience significant relief when they are mindful and intentional about their mindset and behaviors. Here are some strategies to start freeing yourself of guilt, starting today.
A law-firm associate in Chicago who had a baby during the pandemic told me that she got three bonuses during the pandemic because of how much she got done while working remotely, and her experience is borne out by data showing that people are productive at home.
Though of course non-mom caregivers benefited from extra time too, working mothers are the ones whose responsibilities have grown, rather than fallen, over the decades. Compared to 2003, employed women are spending more time working and more time on childcare, according to the American Time Use Survey. Men, meanwhile, spent less time at work than in 2003, and also less time doing childcare and housework.
Of course, there are big benefits to being in an office, around other people. Companies tout increased collaboration and mentorship opportunities for younger workers as reasons for calling people back. For some working moms, the ability to leave their children at daycare and go into a place where they are something other than a mom is an essential part of staying sane.
The working mother study, authored by Harvard Business School professor Kathleen McGinn, HBS researcher Mayra Ruiz Castro, and Elizabeth Long Lingo of Mt. Holyoke College, found that women with working mothers performed better in the workplace, earning more and possessing more powerful positions than their peers with stay-at-home mothers.
"There is no single policy or practice that can eliminate gender gaps at work and at home. But being raised by a working mother appears to come very close to that. Women raised by a working mother do better in the workplace, and men raised by a working mother contribute more at home," McGinn said.
The researchers also found that the working mother effect does not extend to sons in the workplace, where they are as likely as sons with stay-at-home mothers to hold supervisory positions and earn comparable salaries.
With schools being shut down, working moms assumed the responsibility of being a homeschool teacher. Of course, this is in addition to working and managing a household (cooking, cleaning, laundry, chores, etc). I am sure I am getting pushback from many moms and dads right now about how this load has affected both parents and not just moms.
This pushback is valid to some extent. According to the study published in September of 2020 by McKinsey, the household load has disproportionately affected the working moms, although dads have also been significantly and adversely affected by the situation.
Although this does not eliminate the distractions, it does wonder by teaching your family about boundaries, and over time it allows you to stay more focused. Believe it or not, this is one of the best ways to overcome the struggles of working moms.
Congratulations on choosing to breastfeed your baby! Now, if you are returning to work or school after your baby is born you may wonder how you can combine breastfeeding and working. With a desire to breastfeed, and some careful planning, you can do it. As a working mother there are some special advantages to continuing breastfeeding after return to work or school. While there may be many caregivers for your infant, breastfeeding is something only you can do for your baby and working mothers enjoy the special time with their baby that nursing provides.
If you liked these tips, be sure to sign up for my newsletter and stay tuned for future posts about health and wellness for working moms. We need to stick together and encourage one another in this thing called life! What are your tips for success when it comes to making time to exercise? Leave your thoughts below in the comments.
An avid reader and writer, I've had the privilege of teaching English for over a decade and am now an instructional coach. I have degrees in English, Curriculum & Instruction, and Reading as well as a reading specialist certification. In my free time, I enjoy loving on my kids, deconstructing sentences, analyzing literature, making learning fun, working out, and drinking a good cup of coffee.
Kerr has made it her mission to save other working moms from the ravages of burnout. In this interview, she unpacks the four chronic stressors moms are up against today and offers her expert advice for overcoming them. 041b061a72